August 1, 2013
I was recently blessed on July 4th to celebrate thirty-three years of marriage; yes to the same man. (GIGGLE) This man was not only my prom date, my high school sweet-heart; he’s also the father of our two wonderful children.
While reminiscing we began to share with each other the numerous celebrations as well as challenges we have experienced throughout the years. As each year passes we are always bombarded with the staple question; how did you do it? Our experience and recipe for our marriage may not be the same for you, as each of our journeys are different however here’s a peek into thirty-three years of the Married Lady Leader.
Some of you may have been saved, sanctified and filled with the Holy Spirit upon marriage; we were not. However I do believe the Lord placed us as gifts to each other. I was reared as an only child. My husband has always been a provider, he shared with me the skills of balance. I had to learn we couldn’t go out to dinner EVERY night! So he taught me how to cook. I had to learn the proper way to launder clothing, so we all didn’t have to wear psychedelic attire to every event. I brought to the table organization and maintaining a very beautiful and immaculate environment. Thus began our growing into the Mr. and Mrs. after walking the aisle as bride and groom.
Our initial years were learning to walk in the word as wedded individuals who became one. From the club to covenant was an interesting time in our lives to say the least. I am forever grateful for the guidance of the Father and the patience we had with each other. I recall our Pastor anointed our marriage and stated my husband was anointed with “faith” and I was anointed with “prayer”. I have noted over the years this anointing has been ever present in our lives.
I wish I could say that after giving our lives to the Lord we never went to bed mad again; I cannot. We had to learn how to disagree, yet remain in a state of wholeness. The tools we learned while walking with the Lord are priceless. We loved each other, yet the love we experienced as a Christian couple was one which included, praying together, fasting together, having conversations which were “real”…not just the “how was your day”, but the conversations which caused us to lay before the Lord and cast our cares, our fears and our ignorance before Him for guidance.
We wrote a book entitled Marriage, Palace or Prison this book shares the journey of rearing our children, learning financial responsibilities. Recognizing the aging process, and growing gracefully in our diverse states of maturity.
There are numerous married couples who have maintained their marriage for over 30 years; however in my experience there is a vast minority which are willing to be transparent, so that others may grow and glean from the journey.
There were many celebrations along the way, graduations, births and there were also deaths, and there was sickness. There was “better” and there has been “worse”. There has been “richer” and believe me there has been “poorer”.
The continuing force has been the “til death do us part”. Truth is…I am sure that somewhere along the 33 years, one of us at one time or another have considered taking the “til death do us part” into our own hands…lol, if I can be real!
Yet through it all, the commitment, the friendship, the relationship has and continues to be submitted to God. Through Him and only Him, has the consistency of faith grown and developed. Yes, the Lady is a Leader and She’s Married!
Walk In Power,
Dr. BJ Relefourd
Lady LaKesia Scott-Charter WOP Member/Alabama
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